Wednesday, July 11, 2012

How-To...make a toddler behavior chart


I have a two and a half year old and an almost five month old.  They keep me BUSY and on my toes!  We had been having some behavior issues out of our toddler, and time-outs just weren't cutting it.  That's when I decided that positive reinforcement is the key!   A pat on the back, a hug, encouraging words- those are all positive reinforcement.  However, we needed more!  Enter, the sticker chart.  Here are some tips for you if you want to make one as well.

CONTENT OF CHART
  • To make your sticker chart appropriate for your child, you first need to determine what you WANT them to be doing (not what you don't want them to be doing).  It should be attainable- for example, I didn't put on there that my 2 year old should be loading her own dishes in the dishwasher!
  • The older the child, the more items you can add.  Keep it super simple for under 2, maybe three categories.  For my 2.5 year old I have 7 which is borderline too many!
  • Some sample categories on mine:  Use the potty, Play nicely with Stella (her sister), Obey Mommy and Daddy the first time, Clean up some toys, Share something, Be polite, Wake up in your own bed.
Place it in the location you spend the most time in!

USE OF CHART
  • If you notice my categories above you will notice the category "Be polite".  This was my catch-all category, so I give her a sticker for that one if I notice anything positive that she does that isn't on the list.  So if she does something kind for someone (pick up something they dropped, help someone on her own, comfort someone who is sad, etc.) I give her a sticker here.  It is also for the obvious-saying please and thank-you, and asking nicely for something.  You want to be sure you reinforce all positive behavior!
  • Do NOT "set them up".  This is for when they genuinely do something on their own.  For example, don't put pressure on them by saying "you have to clean up your toys or I won't give you a sticker."  Can you see how this makes the chart a negative thing kinda?  
  • Do NOT take stickers away.  If she earns a sticker for playing nicely and gently with her baby sister, but five minutes later throws something at her, I don't take away the sticker.  She earned it fair and square! 
  • Anytime I see her do something on the chart, she gets a sticker.  If we are out and about, I keep track of them and she gets to put them on when she gets home- this is so exciting for her!
My lovely drawings!  Check out the awesome beard I drew on my hubby :)

SET-UP OF CHART
  • I put her name at the top "Lola Jane's Chart!" 
  • I used a ruler to make boxes, in this case seven down and four across.
  • Write in a simple sentence the category, and draw a picture if they can't read.  You will notice that my artwork is not spectacular, but its enough to help her know what is what.  If you REALLY can't draw at all, print off some clip art that you find online or cut pictures out of a magazine.
  •  I wrote the numbers one through six in each box.  A sticker will go on each number as she earns them.
30 cent prizes from Target!!!  Love when they do 70% off!

REWARDS
  • For a younger child, you should keep the rewards simple and fast to earn.  For the very young, the sticker itself is sometimes the only prize needed!  As they get older, move to three stickers equals a prize.  For LJ, she has to earn six in a category to get a prize.  You might decide to do a total number for the day, but I go by category.  So if she gets 6 stickers in the "Play nicely with Stella" category, she gets a prize.
  • Does your kid bug you for stuff at the grocery store, the department store...everywhere you go?  Well if it is in your price range, make the answer "Okay, we will buy this to put in your prize box".  LJ earned a pair of swimming goggles really fast one day because of this!
  • Keep an eye on Dollar General clearance, Target dollar section clearance and the like.  I just got her about 15 things that she will love from the Target dollar section for 30 cents each because they had it all marked 70% off.
  • Put in "coupons" for things they would want.  Maybe its staying up an extra ten minutes, a special outing with just mommy or just daddy, or TV time. 
  • I stay away from using any type of food or candy as a reward.  I read an article about this possibly contributing to eating disorders or bad eating habits and it made sense to me.  This is a personal opinion, obviously you can do as you choose! 
  • This doesn't need to cost a bunch of money (or any if you do the coupon idea) nor should it.  The point isn't to get them addicted to earning stuff. 
  • When the ENTIRE chart is finished, have a family celebration!  A trip to the bowling alley, Build-A-Bear, or the Zoo would be a fun way to celebrate.  Then its up to you if you need another chart or if their good habits are engrained enough to not need one!
Mommy's reward- my babies getting along and smiling!!!

I hope this helps you with your toddler!  Please comment below with your own category ideas or your own take on the sticker chart.  I know a lot of you have some great ideas for something like this! :)

28 comments:

  1. What a great idea! I'll have to give it a try with my four year old. ;)

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    1. Let me know if you modify it, I'd love to hear anyone else's take on it!

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  2. Great idea---I may have to borrow this idea;) I have two that are about two years apart and sometimes it gets a little crazy in our house:) Thanks for sharing!

    -Julie
    http://www.thechirpingmoms.com

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    1. THanks Julie! It really has made a difference in the "peace" level at our house :)

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  3. I have been having problems with my 3 year old daughter and she is so smart, I think this type of system will work better with her. I love the positive way of getting them to do stuff instead of always punishment. Thank you

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    1. I think it works because they get to have "control" over earning prizes. At this age they all want to be the boss!

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  4. Made one for my 3 year old daughter today. Wish us luck.

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  5. Super Excited to try this idea with my 2.5 and 4.5 year old boys. I was struggling to find something that fit our needs, so your idea to make your own is fantastic. I will let you know how it works. Thanks for sharing.

    Laura

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    1. I would love to hear how you apply it at your house! Good luck!

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  6. Hiya! I can clearly notice that you undoubtedly get the sense of what you are speaking about. Do you an education that is somehow related with the theme of this blog post? Can't wait to see your reply.

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    1. TTGW,
      Thank you, I actually was a teacher for several years so I do have a background that helps with ideas like this. At the moment my children keep me too busy to blog most days, but I hope to find the time to share more ideas in the future! Have a great day!

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  7. I have a 2.5 and an 11 month old and I am having the same type of issues with my 2.5 year old. I feel I give him lots of positive reinforcement but maybe the chart will get home more excited about the good things. He really does sooo many wonderful things every day but it's the times he doesn't that pretty much get the most attention so this seems like a great way to change that! I'm going to play around with how much he needs for a prize. My biggest issue is not listening and hurting his brother. He LOVES his brother to pieces and is so great with him a lot but then he does things like push him, hit him, pinch etc. and he knows it is wrong. So I know he will fill up the chart fast with good things but I still want to make sure he understands the negative things he does wrong. I definitely don't want the chart to become negative but I also don't want to make it too easy. Maybe just the focus alone on the good will fix the problem but if I think of our day yesterday he would definitely have stickers all over the chart of things I expect and would probably be getting lots of prizes. However, he also pinched his brother very hard and purposely rammed into him (while he was sitting on the floor) on one of his ride-on toys and sent him flying on his back to hit his head on the hard floor. So, even though he did plenty of please and thank-yous, played very nice with his brother throughout the day various times, helped clean up, helped me do things, used the potty, listened (sometimes) etc. he also went totally against those things too. Like I said, I always say "Wow! That was so nice of you to ...blah blah!" but maybe the chart will highlight that more. I'm just wondering if there is a way for a big "no, no" to affect his prize winning without making the chart negative. I also had the idea of doing reviewing the chart at the end of the day reviewing all of the great things he did with examples, but pointing out what he did wrong and maybe a there could be a "goal" section where if he works on what he did wrong the next day and doesn't do it, that is a place for a sticker? How does that sound? Too confusing?

    Just thinking of ideas. Love the chart and thank you for sharing. I will definitely be working on one!! I can send along what I come up with but I would love any additional ideas you have about what I posted above!

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    1. Sorry I took a bit to get back to you! I don't get on the blog as often as I'd like these days. I definitely think that you need consequences sometimes, especially is the baby is endangered in any way. I sometimes send my daughter to her room for a "cool-down" and tell her that she can come out when she is ready to play nicely and make good choices. I have also seen these tube things on Pinterest where you fill it with glitter and you shake it, and they have to hold it until the glitter settles. Its supposed to kind of "reset" them. Hope those ideas help a little!

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  8. Hello! I love your idea! We're looking for something for our almost-3-year-old who has been a roller coaster lately. I have a 1 year old too that she loves to be mean to!
    I have a question about your layout... I see you have 4 columns with number 1-6 in it. What's your reason/procedure for that? What I mean is, does the 1-6 last per day? Per week?
    Thanks!

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    1. The way I'm reading it as I sit down to make my own is that it's not based on days; rather, she just has a way for the kiddo to earn 4 prizes per category. We might do a special prize per category when full at our house, then a super big prize when the whole thing is full (thinking 'out loud' here).

      My 3yo is having a tough time with behavior (apparently par for the course at his age). My categories are going to be: Listen 1st time, Manners (please, ty, volume & tone of voice, nice hands/mouth), Toy pickup, Mealtime behavior, Potty w/o us asking or going when we do ask, Controlling anger- change activity or ask for help when upset.

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  9. I created my own and linked the image I uploaded to Pinterest back to this blog. Thanks so much for the idea! I need to refocus on his successes and stop saying no so much! :) http://pinterest.com/amsd2dth/the-boy-discipline-edition/

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    1. Also, for those with 3 year olds.. after a month, I can say it works for us. But- when he finishes it and I make a more refined board, I will not do the groups of 6. For him, it is visually confusing and he didn't care about the small rewards for each part. He cared about stickers, hugs, and smiles. So when I make a more specific one, it will have the numbers 1-20 written and he can put a sticker on each one to work towards a prize in that category (like... no growling or yelling, no running away at the store). He got to pick out new underwear today for getting all 36 stickers on going potty without freaking out and was so excited. :)

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  10. I have a 20 month old and a 3yr old. We did the sticker chart for using the potty for my oldest because he regressed. It did wonders. When I ask them tp clean up, it doesn't happen. I need a better way for my youngest to use the potty. I have bought some items for a prize box already. I hope this helps. I'm stressing too much.

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  11. For younger kids, should you start with one category until they get the concept then slowly add a new one? I'm just worried that if I have 4-5 important categories, she'll forget. Do you take time to review the chart and talk about the categories?

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  12. For younger kids, should you start with one category until they get the concept then slowly add a new one? I'm just worried that if I have 4-5 important categories, she'll forget. Do you take time to review the chart and talk about the categories?

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  13. Thanks for the great idea I have two young kids one is 2and the other 3yrs old so it gets pretty crazy I'm am definitely going to try this.. I will update you and let you know how it works out again thanks again!!

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  14. I have been scouring the internet to find a chart for my son. This is an AMAZING idea! I have modified it to fit on our refrigerator and laminated it so that we can use it over and over. I also added a little bit of Velcro at the end of the chart so that our son can choose his "big" prizes that he is working for.

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  15. Can't wait to try this on my 3 year old son and 2 year old daughter! We just had another baby and their behavior has been....well let's just say we need this chart!!

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  16. I am a preschool teacher and have been pondering how to show the parents how well or not so well their child is doing behavior wise without having to write out a note to each and everyone on a daily basis. I think I will try this chart out. Thank you for the wonderful idea!

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  17. I am a preschool teacher and have been pondering how to show the parents how well or not so well their child is doing behavior wise without having to write out a note to each and everyone on a daily basis. I think I will try this chart out. Thank you for the wonderful idea!

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  18. My little boy just turned two. His daddy and I are struggling to find something that works. We also have an 8 month old little boy. My 2 year old doesn't listen and 8 times out of 10 hits my 8 month old while they're playing together. We have used time outs and spankings, but neither has really worked for him. It has not changed his behavior which is my ultimate goal. I'm going to implement this chart, but I wondered what should I do when he hits baby brother or makes another negative choice. Is there a punishment, or is it punishment enough that he doesn't get a sticker? What would you suggest?

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  19. Tried it. Working well so far. I put a link to your blog on mine. http://outsidethehbelljar.blogspot.com

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I love your comments! Thanks so much! Please understand that I try my best to reply, but I am not always able to!